TBH, No One Can EVER Know Page 4
How are u always so in touch w/ people
Ur like a psychic therapist mastermind genius or something
CECILY
LOL that is a lot of things, Pri
PRIANKA
So true, tho
CECILY
IDK I just get a sense that Vic really struggles with it even though she doesn’t talk about it much
GABRIELLE
Yeah
Maybe she’ll wanna talk about it one day
CECILY
K this side chat is getting too gossipy
PRIANKA
Love how you started it, Cece, and now you’re putting the kibosh
GABRIELLE
Lol kibosh
Such a funny word
PRIANKA
Wanna know another word I love
CECILY
Ya
PRIANKA
Lackluster
Isn’t that a good one
CECILY
So good
I love words
PRIANKA
Me too duh
GABRIELLE
K guys this has been fun
PRIANKA
I gotta get ready for Jennie’s w/ Vishal
GABRIELLE
Oooh have fun
LOVE YA
PRIANKA
Thanks! Mwah
CECILY
Mwah mwah mwah
HAVE SO MUCH FUN
Squad 4 Life
VICTORIA
U guyssssss
Since I had to leave early and I missed the dance planning meeting the other day, I emailed Mr. C about how I think it should be a fundraiser for St. Francis
GABRIELLE
OMGGGGGGG sooo glad you wrote him
Vic that is
VICTORIA
And party company will donate stuff
CECILY
Yessssss
CECILY
Love how you’re so pumped up, Vic
VICTORIA
Yaaayyyyyyy
To: Victoria Melford
From: Edward Carransey
Subject: RE: Valentine’s Day Dance
Dear Victoria,
What an incredible idea! I am thrilled you’re taking initiative with the dance! We can most certainly make it a fundraiser for St. Francis. Let’s discuss in more depth next week.
Thank you very much,
Mr. C
*sent from my iPhone. Please excuse typos*
Gabrielle, Mom
GABRIELLE
Hi, Mom
MOM
Hi
Why are we texting when we are sitting on the same couch?
GABRIELLE
It’s fun
MOM
Ok
Hi
GABRIELLE
Can u take me shopping for a dress for Ethan’s wedding
GABRIELLE
I know I just got new dresses for bat mitzvahs
But please
MOM
Let me think about it
Maybe we will split and you will use half of your dog walking $
GABRIELLE
That could be good
Also
Can we look into me volunteering at YAS
MOM
YAS?
GABRIELLE
Yorkville Animal Shelter
MOM
Oh!
Sure!
GABRIELLE
Could be great for me right?
MOM
Definitely
Love to see you taking an interest in something
GABRIELLE
Such a mom comment
MOM
I am a mom LOL LOL
GABRIELLE
Hahahahah
GABRIELLE
Ok coming to snuggle
MOM
Squad 4 Life
PRIANKA
You guysssssss
Jennie’s w/ Vishal was soooo much fun
CECILY
Yayyyyyyy that is soo sooooo great
GABRIELLE
PRI!!!!
GABRIELLE
First date!!!!
VICTORIA
WOOOO
Deleting this text chain
BRB
No talk of dates for Mama Melford to snoop on
PRIANKA
K
Done
From: Gabrielle Katz
To: Yorkville Animal Shelter
Subject: volunteering
Dear Yorkville Animal Shelter:
I wanted to find out about volunteer programs for middle school kids. I love dogs and I want to help. Please get back to me.
Thank you,
Gabrielle Katz
Victoria, Mom
VICTORIA
Mom
I am begging you
Please don’t go nuts about the Valentine’s Day dance
Normal for kids to take dates & it’s totally innocent
And it’s not like everyone is taking dates
I mean most kids are not
I am begging you
MOM
Victoria, I will do what I think is right
MOM
This is not your concern
VICTORIA
It is my concern
It’s a FUNDRAISER for ST. FRANCIS
And Edward is donating all this stuff from the party company
I thought of asking him all on my own
I really took initiative
I really care about this
I’m really involved in the dance
Please listen to me
Please let me go
MOM
Victoria. Stop.
VICTORIA
I feel like what happened when I was 4 @ the mall has spooked you for life and now you can’t function like a normal person
You can never face it
And it is ruining your life
And my life, too
MOM
Enough
Get your coat
Time for school
Squad 4 Life
VICTORIA
Guys
I need to call an emergency meeting
Not at my house, tho
Where can we meet after school
My mom is letting me go to friends’ houses again
FINALLY THANK THE LORD
Get back to me asap please
Need to use special secret shared notebook
VICTORIA
Let’s call it SSSNB
Where r u guyssssss
From: Cecily Anderson
To: Gabrielle Katz, Victoria Melford, Prianka Basak
Subject: Today
Hi! Vic, I saw the texts but couldn’t respond so I’m moving this to email and hopefully you all check in study hall today. Don’t want to bring up at lunch in case it’s super emotional and private.
Anyway, do you want to come over to my house? We can meet after school. My mom has a meeting and Ingrid has lacrosse tryouts.
Write back or just show up! Or drop me a locker note to say you’re coming!
Xoxox Cece
See you after school! No time to email. Xo Pri
I’m coming over! Woo! So much to discuss. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox GABS!
Thanks for having us over. Love, Vic
Hi guys, thanks for all meeting at Cece’s. I’m really having serious issues with some stuff and I haven’t been open about it and I wonder if there are things going on with you, too, that you haven’t been open about. I think we can all be honest about this. I don’t want to make this a Struggle Journal but maybe it will turn into that. I’ve been realizing that I suffer alone a lot of the time but I don’t want to. I want to lean on others and get help. So that’s why I called this emergency meeting. I want to write about my problems and then I hope you guys respond and then you can write about yours maybe and then we can all be honest and rely on one another. Sound OK? OK!
I am freaking out over things with my mom. She seems to want to derail all things and
keep me locked up like a baby. I’m such a good person, rule follower, get good grades, all of that. And yet she barely wants me to go out, and she’s already freaking out over the Valentine’s Day Dance even with all of my hard work. I mean, I’m getting a free photo booth and ARCADE GAMES! HOW AWESOME IS THAT? And what if I can’t even enjoy it?!?
I think deep down she is always afraid!!! That’s why she yelled at everyone at sledding and made such a scene. IT WAS THE WORST.
Why is my mom like this??? Why can’t she be like your moms???
I don’t know what to do. I just really, really want to take some action. I feel like I am missing my whole life.
Passing to Cece now. Love, Vic
* * *
First of all, Vic, I think this is super brave of you. We do need to lean on each other and you have a lot going on in your head and it’s not healthy to keep it all in. I struggle with feeling the need to be perfect. You guys all know that. And also the whole thing about liking girls and not being totally sure where to go with it. It just feels like I’m alone in that and it’s something that will get easier with time. I’m not really sure.
But enough about me.
Vic, I wonder if you could ever talk to your dad about this stuff. Have you tried? I know it can be awkward with dads but maybe it can work? And if not, I wonder if the school psychologist or your guidance counselor can help. Sometimes it helps to get other people involved. Just a few ideas. Passing to Gabs. LOVE YOU ALL FOREVER AND EVER, Cece
* * *
Hi! OK, so you know my main stuff so I won’t bore you with that again. Obv the ADHD thing and my school frustrations and all of that. But also it’s more. I want to find my passion and I have been working on that and I may have found it but stay tuned and also enough about me. I think that we need to try and get your mom to be more social with our moms. I think it’ll really help. Can we plan a brunch or dinner or something very soon? Before the dance? And then all the moms can talk to your mom and maybe help her relax a little? Great idea, right??? Passing to Pri. Xoxo Gabs
* * *
Hiiiiiii, LOVIES!!! Well obvs I have no worries at all because I’m Prianka Basak the extraordinary and a poetry champion so yeah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! JK! Of course I have problems. DUH. WE ALL DO. Which is why I’m obsessed with this journal and putting it all out there, maybe in poetry form. HAHA. JK again! See, I am trying to bring the humor here!
OK, anyway. I love Gabs’s idea and I think we need to do it right away. I love that you’re reaching out to us, Vic, and love that we can all be honest about our stuff and I love our friendship and I LOVE ALL OF YOU SOOOOO MUCH! SMOOCHES FOREVER, Pri
* * *
Hi! So what if my mom sends an email to everyone? Mama Anderson is good @ organizing.
* * *
Wait!!! We can’t let my mom know that we are sort of forcing it on her. We need to make it seem like a normal plan somehow that she drops me off at, and then maybe they encourage her to stay? I don’t know. She doesn’t like forced things. UGH SHE DOESN’T SEEM TO LIKE ANYTHING. WAHHHHH.
* * *
Good point, Vic. We don’t want her to feel awk and then not even come.
* * *
Agree. Maybe we all get ready for the dance together and the moms come? But if you’re not allowed to go to the dance that won’t work.
* * *
Maybe we can all go out for ice cream together after a PTA meeting when we are presenting since we know Mama Melford goes to those!
* * *
Genius!! We won’t plan it. Just pray it happens after PTA meeting.
Cecily, Mom
CECILY
Mom?
Are you there
MOM
Hi
Yes
Downstairs
CECILY
Can we text
MOM
Um, sure. Why, though?
CECILY
Don’t want Dad to weigh in and make jokes
MOM
Ok
CECILY
Can you help me with Vic’s mom?
MOM
What’s going on?
I’d really prefer to discuss this face-to-face
CECILY
MOMMMMMMMM
MOM
OK, come down and discuss, please
CECILY
Fine
Bye
From: Yorkville Animal Shelter
To: Gabrielle Katz
Subject: RE: volunteering
Hello, Ms. Katz!
We’d be thrilled to have you volunteer. Normally our volunteers are 18+ but we have had a great deal of interest from middle schoolers and so we are starting a middle school volunteer program. It meets on Saturdays from 3-5 and it can fulfill school community service requirements, although we are not saying you are doing it for that reason. :)
Please let us know when you would like to begin. You can email back, call, or stop by the shelter.
Puppy love!
Marren Fleetis
Director, Yorkville Animal Shelter
From: Gabrielle Katz
To: Yorkville Animal Shelter
Subject: volunteering
Dear Yorkville Animal Shelter:
I wanted to find out about volunteer programs for middle school kids. I love dogs and I want to help. Please get back to me.
Thank you,
Gabrielle Katz
Squad 4 Life
GABRIELLE
Guys
Guess what
Yorkville Animal Shelter has a middle school kids volunteer program on Saturdays & I’m gonna do it! Anyone wanna do it with me
PASSION ALERT
I think I wanna be a vet when I grow up
CECILY
Wooo so awesome, Gabs
GABRIELLE
Feeling pumped
CECILY
WOOOOO TO ALL
PRIANKA
New life motto
“Woo to all!”
CECILY
Love it
K bye
GABRIELLE
Mwah
PRIANKA
Mwah
From: Cecily Anderson
To: Edward Carransey
Subject: New Initiative
Dear Mr. Carransey,
I stopped by your office earlier but you were in a meeting. I want to start something new. I had to check with my mom first, though.
It’s called SOCIAL MEDIA FOR GOOD AND NOT FOR EVIL. Everyone will sign a pledge that they vow to use social media in a different way. It won’t be for leaving people out or bullying someone or anything like that. The situation with the viral video of Marisa (#MaRIPa) was horrible. I know Jared got in trouble and was suspended for a week but we need to really take it a step further.
It seems like it all started with the whole thing with Sami and the ranking and the #broboom thing and now the video. Social media has become toxic to the extreme. I really want to make this change. Please let me know what you think.
Thank you, Cecily Anderson
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.
—Louisa May Alcott
Dear Journal,
I realized something. I only turn to you when I’m upset and that’s not fair. Maybe it’s because I take the good stuff for granted and I don’t write it down. Or maybe it’s because the bad stuff always feels more important. But anyway, I need to turn to you when I feel good, too. And guess what? Today I feel good! I think I’ve finally found my passion: animals! Dogs, specifically. And I get to volunteer at the Yorkville Animal Shelter on Saturdays. It’s gonna be great. Plus my friends and I are really all getting along right now and we’re trying to help Victoria with her issues with her mom. I feel like I need to pause and appreciate this moment. Thank you for all of your support. ;) Xoxo Gabs
My Loves
VICTORIA
GUYSSSSSSS
OMG
I know it is late but Cece, my mom just got off the phone wi
th your mom and they talked for an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t even know she was calling!!
CECILY
OMG
I didn’t know for sure either but they talk sometimes at PTA meetings sooo . . .
I was eavesdropping, too
VICTORIA
Since we are going to the PTA meeting to talk about the dance my mom said OK to ice cream after
CECILY
THIS IS HUGE,
VICTORIA
I KNOW
SOOOOO excited
GABRIELLE
Wait!!! When is this happening??
CECILY
Monday
GABRIELLE
Oh, I forgot dance committee is going to PTA meeting to discuss plans
PRIANKA
This is community service, too, LOL
GABRIELLE
CECILY
K great
VICTORIA
U GUYS
I am soooo excited my mom agreed
PRIANKA
WOO TO ALL
CECILY
WOO TO ALL
GABRIELLE
WOO TO ALL
VICTORIA
LOL WOO TO ALL
From: Cecily Anderson
To: Prianka Basak, Gabrielle Katz, Victoria Melford
Subject: MISSION FOR ICE CREAM DATE
Hi, guys!
Sorry for all caps in subject line but I am just soooooo excited and can’t keep chill in study hall!!!!
OK, so goals:
Get Vic’s mom to chill out re: dance and date and all other kids growing up stuff
Get moms to stop snooping (prob not gonna accomplish this in one night but worth a try!)
HANG OUT & HAVE SO MUCH FUN
EAT ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM SOOOOOOO EXCITED.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo Cece
From: Edward Carransey
To: Cecily Anderson
Subject: RE: New Initiative
Dear Cecily,